Ukelicious Light
by Sugaby
Summary: It's not easy to convince someone with a sweet tooth like L to ignore a 50% off candy sale to work. But it's even harder tying to convince a genius killer like Light that he's ukelicious.


Oh wow! My first Death Note fic! I'm super excited!

But geez, it's really not an easy anime/manga to write for sometimes ._.

Anyways, I'm still not sure I picked the right title for this fic. I think it could've been used in a better, shorter fic. But oh well, what's done is done.

I hope I did good on my first Death Note fic!

Enjoy~!

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**Ukelicious Light**

Convincing people is never an easy task. If you tell someone that they're pretty or beautiful they'll protest and say that they're ugly. Tell someone they're not short, they'll deny it and say they are. Tell someone they're not fat, especially a girl, and they'll totally think you're just saying that. Really, you have to have to be good influencing to convince a person of something. Sadly, Light was soon about to find out that L was not an easy guy to convince.

At the moment, the two males were planning to scout around the town in hope of figuring out where the death note may have originally been found and why. It might even give them a few ideas about Kira's personality. Who knows? It was a long shot but they had nothing else to do for the time being. Kira hadn't killed anyone in weeks. There was no definite chance of succeeding with this idea but they came up with this theory during the planning.

"If a god of death drops their death note where would they want it to land?" L asked aloud as he pondered on the thought.

"Well I think, and this is just a theory, that depending on the type of area it was dropped in we can gather a lot of information about the type of Shinigami that possessed it" Light said.

"Meaning?"

"Think about it. If a Shinigami drops their death note in to a crowded area than they must've wanted someone to easily find it. If a Shinigami drops their death note in an empty area then they probably don't want it to be discovered. Kind of like an accident and they plan to get it back as soon as possible. And lastly, if a Shinigami drops their death note in to an equally populated area then they'd think that whoever finds it must have done so for a reason. It's not everyday you go looking around on the floor for a book now, is it? This was the theory they decided on. Of course, there was no way to be sure that they were right, but it was all they had at the moment. Whilst Light was ready to start searching the town, L was not. He had other ideas.

"What do you mean you're not coming? Ryuzaki, let's go!" Light called impatiently.

"We'll go later" L mumbled, stuffing a spoonful of cake inside his mouth.

"Think of all the innocent people who live their lives in fear because we haven't caught this guy yet!"

"There have been no recent deaths this month so for now we're okay"

"That doesn't mean anything, he could strike at any time! Don't you want to finally bring this murderer to justice?"

"Of course I do"

"Then let's go!"

"I'm busy"

"Eating sweets is not what we're here for!"

"Maybe not you, but it's what I'm here for"

"The longer we sit here-!"

"The longer nothing changes. Light, you need to calm down. There's no rush"

"Move your ass now, damn it!"

"So demanding. I wonder if Kira is the same way"

That shut him up. Light decided not to vent out his next demand after that. He had been treading on thin ice with L lately. It seemed that nearly everyday, the two would find something to argue about. L created reasons for an argument in hopes of catching Light out, since he was still wary of his true identity as Kira. The two were still handcuffed for god sake!

And the reason for the argument today was?

"Ryuzaki, we're going to check out the town whether you like it or not! I could care less about some stupid fifty percent off candy sale!" Light barked.

"That's the difference between you and I. I appreciate candy and can make do with the time I'm given. You on the other hand do not care for sweets and seem to always want to rush through things" L said.

"That's because we don't have time to be eating sweets! We have to check out those places!"

"And we will. Later"

"Ryuzaki!"

"Uke's shouldn't be making demands"

"I'm not a friggin' uke!"

Light sighed heavily in frustration and watched the detective take another piece of cake. What was with the detective? Light couldn't figure it out but he seemed more lazier than usual these days.

"Delicious" L muttered once he swallowed the cake. "You should have some"

"We don't have time for cake! Kira could be anywhere doing anything!"

"I have the police stationed in various parts of the town. If they find anything suspicious they'll let us know"

"Wait, so if there are already a group of police in town why do we need to go?"

"Because as harsh as it may sound, they are only pawns in this plan. You and I are the main pieces in all this and since I suspect you of Kira it's best I put you in different situations just to see how you'll react" L explained, swallowing his last piece of cake. He then turned and looked up at Light, fully seriously. "And also because I want to check out a certain store. I hear they're having a special 50% off candy sale today. That is the true purpose of today's objective"

"You're not serious?"

"Does it look like I'm joking? Do you see me smiling?"

"You never smile!"

"You have a point"

Light let out a long sigh of frustration, rubbing his temples in a circular motion as well. "How about we just send Matsuda out to get you some candy then if that's the case?"

"Alright" L agreed.

"_Success!" _Light thought.

Light casually got up and made his way to the phone, dialling a number and waiting for the person on the other end to respond. Listening to the dull tone was really depressing. Thankfully, Matsuda answered quickly and the candy request was made.

"Sorry about this. Thanks" Light said before ending the conversation and putting the phone back down. He turned to L. "He should be about fifteen, twenty minutes tops. Can you wait that long?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No, I suppose not" Light replied, sitting back down on the cough opposite L. "So we might as well get back to work in the mean time"

L chewed his thumb and hugged his legs close. "Okay" He answered.

"So, have you come up with any more ideas about the death note's dropping area?" Light asked as he picked up his cup of tea and took a sip from it.

"Your school"

"What?"

"I think we should start with your school"

Light had to quickly put his cup back down on the table so that his shock wouldn't be noticed by his sudden light shaking. "But...but why? It's just a boring school like any other" Light admitted.

"You're missing a valuable aspect though. Your school in particular is had students with a high IQ like ourselves. We also know that Kira is highly intelligent. A school would be included in my list of places to use the death note because it's a great place to hold people hostages and make demands with the death note being used as a threat. You see things like this one the news all the time. So naturally, I should think a god of death would have the same thought and drop it there" L explained. "But then again, that could work both ways"

"Yeah, cause not all Shinigami have the same thoughts so they could drop it anywhere for any reason. We've only met two Shinigami and that's Ryuk and Rem" Light said. "As far as we know, all the rest could be imbeciles that just wanna start a ruckus"

"True but I was thinking more along the lines of Kira drawing attention to himself. If I was Kira there'd also be a slight chance that I _wouldn't_ use a school because if school hostages were always on the news then I'd be drawing too much attention to myself. More attention that I'd want"

"But Kira always makes broadcasts on the news"

"Yes but he doesn't make his whereabouts known. A school this open and easy to find is bound to get him caught out. Or at least give a hint that he's here in this town"

"Okay then. What about a church? Surely that would be an ideal place since it's like the weight of the world on a scale balanced by sins and good deeds and everything" Light suggested.

"The church is a definite no. Those condemned by god would feel that they are banished from entering such a holy place. One of god's ten commandments strictly say that it is wrong to kill. And since Kira is Kira and a death god is a _death god _then there's no way they're a fan of god, right?"

"_To be able gather up all that in such short time! L, you really are the world's greatest detective"_ Light thought.

"But god is also associated with hell in some ways since he decides who deserves to go there. So there must be some sort of connection, right?" Light added.

Before L was given the chance to reply, a few knocks arrived at the door.

"Who is it?" Light called.

"It's Matsuda. I have the candy you asked for" Matsuda replied.

"Candy" L muttered anxiously.

Light walked over to the door and opened it, revealing Matsuda. The bag of candy was handed over to Light without another word and the door closed.

"See? That didn't take very long, now did it?" Light said as he handed the bag over to L.

L didn't say a word. He just fished around in the bag and randomly picked out a piece of candy. A big red lollipop with a while swirl in the centre. He tore off the wrapper and began to lick it vigorously, as if it were about to suddenly disappear somehow.

"Okay, you've got your candy" Light started. "What else can we add to what we already know about Kira and the death note?"

"Well I have another theory" L said.

"Really? Let's hear it then"

"Imagine that Kira...is tea, and that the death note is the cup"

"Huh? Ryuzaki, that's-"

"I'm about to explain something to you so some silence would be nice, thank you"

"Sorry"

"As I was saying, try to think of Kira as tea. The type of tea can be changed through it's flavour, colour, taste, smell and so on. However, the cup will always remain in it's original form"

"There's more than one kind of tea cup, Ryuzaki"

"Yes but one tea cup cannot change it's form. You'd have to buy a new one"

"I don't follow"

"The form of the cup, in this case, would represent the death note. No matter what, every single cup will have a hole to drink out of. Therefore, Kira cannot change the form of the death note or the way it works. It will always be the way it is"

"Yes but he can manipulate the deaths"

"This is where the rest of the explanation comes in. The different flavours and everything else represent the killing methods. Now, imagine a normal tea cup that held a normal tea flavour. This would mean that the cause of death would be a heart attack. If you change the flavour the cause of death would be a heart attack but in more detail. And if you change the cup and the flavour together then you get a completely new method for killing. Make sense?"

Light was gob smacked. Whether it was because he was amazed or totally lost was a mystery to him. "Ryuzaki, that's...that's a peculiar way to see this case" He admitted.

L went back to licking his lollipop. "Is it weird to you?"

"Well..." Light was about to say yes. But he didn't want to seem weaker minded. "Actually, I understood perfectly. It's the same thing with apples. No matter what, an apple will always be an apple. But the colour, size and shape can still be changed"

"Yes, exactly" L said. "Very good, Light...or should I say, Kira?"

Light coughed. "This again? I told you, I'm not Kira"

"Okay" L quickly dismissed before going back to his lollipop, licking it more anxiously than ever.

"Hey, slow down, Ryuzaki" Light scolded lightly. "There's no rush"

"That's funny coming from you" L said.

"Huh? Oh, you mean because I was in such a rush earlier?"

"Yes"

"I just wanted to get started. What's the point of planning something if you have no intention of following through with it? Personally, I think you should just go for it. The faster you get the job done the better"

"Okay, Light. Later on, I'll be sure to give you just that"

"What do you mean?"

"Well you've basically just told me how you like to be dominated. Though I have to say, I never thought Kira would be the type of guy to like it fast"

"How many times do I have to tell you until you understand? I'm not Kira"

"Prove it"

"How can I prove something like that? You already locked me in that room and you've already got me handcuffed"

L stared at Light for a few moments before dismissing him. "You're right. You couldn't be Kira"

"Finally!" Light relieved.

"There's no way you could be Kira since you're too much of an uke"

...

"W-WHAT?" Light cried out.

This again coming from the candy-holic detective? Light was very shocked. Not to mention offended as well. He had grew up to believe that girls were meant to be the submissive ones while guys were dominant. A guy being an uke just wasn't acceptable. Especially when it was he who was being labelled as the uke! This had to stop!

"Don't tell me you didn't know this already?" L asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I-I'm not an uke!" Light snapped. "Where did you even get that from?"

"It's always been this way, Light"

"But I'm a guy!"

"And?"

It was Light's turn to stare. "What do you mean '_and_'?"

L held his tired looking emotion and licked up the remaining portion of his lollipop. "The gender does not matter. An uke is an uke and a seme is a seme. Though I guess in most cases it really is to do with a guy and another guy"

"So what are you then?"

"I'm the seme of course"

"Yeah right"

"It's true. Between you and I, I'm the more dominant one"

"Go to hell, Ryuzaki!"

"Ah, hell. It's pretty ironic that the Kira suspect would use that line"

"I'M NOT KIRA!"

"Denial"

"SHUT UP!"

"Say please"

"Like hell I'd beg!"

"It's what dogs do, Light"

"Well then you're not my master!"

And for the first time in hours, it was one of the rarest scenes ever! A small, devious grin played on L's face "We'll just see about that later, my ukelicious Light"

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SOOOOO LOOOOONG! I hope I didn't kill anyone's eyes

So what did everyone think? Was it good? Was it bad? Was it awesome? Hehe, please read and review! 8D


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